'All of this … yet I was only a telephone call away! They could easily have phoned me, but they didn’t.' Tears welled up in our visitor’s eyes. As he explained the recent down-turn in his relationship with his extended family, more and more tears flowed.
Our friend has known the Lord for only a few years, but his brothers and relatives are unhappy about him sharing his faith. While he was visiting another city for a few days, a close relative died. None of his family informed him. He returned too late for the funeral, to fierce anger from all in his town and a sense of disgrace.
Like some kind of 'It’s a Knockout' contest young believers are still attached to a thick elasticated rope and, having got just so far along the course, feel the tug and are jerked back towards the starting point! What are these unhelpful bonds? They are the ties of extended family and tribalism in the Middle East. Or more precisely, it is the all-encompassing nature of the family network, responsibilities and obligations, into which every person is groomed from childhood and where they have their clear position.
These ties create a fixed boundary on a person’s freedom. Family obligations and the strict code of entertaining visitors often clash with opportunities to attend fellowship meetings. Believers feel restricted in sharing their faith, maturing in Christ, and in developing spiritual gifts and fruit.
Here is the crux of establishing church fellowships in the Kurdish heartland of Northern Iraq!
As we look back we see a long line of people who have come to faith and then have had to decide whether they live according to the wishes of their family or the wishes of the Lord. Some have shut up, withdrawn and subsequently struggled to establish their faith, while others have worked through the disapproval and censure to see their faith grow and shine.
Not belonging to the world, but sent back into the world — Jesus’ prayer in John 17 reflects the balance that Kurdish disciples must find in relationship to their families. The difference between true discipleship and stagnation focuses on this very issue: the breaking of suffocating ties to the family.
Now this raises the question: to what extent is it right that people are loosed from their social support structure? On the other hand, the preaching of the gospel inevitably brings a new set of significant relations, and disciples, as members of Christ’s body, must be vital participants.
Recently, in searching for a solution to this problem, our team has been reflecting on some useful strategies that will allow the gospel to spread more along family lines and will allow people to be faithful followers in their family setting. We are increasingly looking at a small group church structure and the use of story-telling as a means of transmitting spiritual truth that can be memorized and passed on to others no matter what level of education people have.
As workers, we seek to offer friendship, fellowship and advice. We stimulate opportunities that will support the nurturing of their faith. We want to pray, disciple and train in godly ways. Our desire is that, under the direction of the Holy Spirit, disciples live in the freedom of having right attitudes and graciously share in their family responsibilities, yet still have the freedom to move forward in a true expression of faith as members of Christ’s family.
Pray for the blessed broken ties and for the maturing of all local believers.
Story submitted by WEC International UK
